Sex, Sexuality & Sexual Identity

Many of us have a limited comprehension of the ways in which our sexual socialisation has sculpted our values and attitudes to sex. We are sexual beings for the duration of our life time, and as such, have needs, regardless of our level of sexual activity. According to Painter and Adams, sexuality involves our relationships with ourselves, those around us, and the society in which we live, whether we identify as gay, heterosexual, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or celibate.

Employing the holistic model, Waterford Counselling Centre encourages clients to conceptualise their sexuality as extending beyond merely sexual intercourse, beneath the following multi-faceted factors:

‘Sexual health is a state of physical, emotional, mental, and social wellbeing related to sexuality; it is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction, or infirmity. Sexual health requires a positive and respectful approach to sexual health and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sex experiences, free of coercion, discrimination, and violence. For sexual health to be attained and maintained, the sexual rights of all persons must be respected and fulfilled’ (World Health Organisation, 2002).

The above definition of sexual heath is also a constructive baseline, when engaging with clients electing to undertake work related to their gender identity, in order to gain a greater sense of who they are sexually. Sexual identity describes not only gender identity, but it also comprises of our gender roles, gender bias, and sexual orientation.

Rather than perceiving any aspect of sexual or gender identity as problematic, LGBTQI+ clients are instead afforded the opportunity to affirmatively embrace their sexuality within the therapeutic space. Some LGBTQI+ clients arrive for therapy to address a seemingly unrelated issue, but our work may eventually concentrate largely on that individual’s past or present sexual identity, as the toll taken from their inner struggles inevitably rises to the surface.

Findings from multiple studies in the Republic of Ireland, commonly confirm higher rates of self-harm and suicide attempts amongst LGBTQI+ community members.

Moreover, it was also found that the three most common LGBTQI+-specific stressors were:

So how can therapy help?

Addiction, Depression, anti-social behaviours, and suicidal ideation may be singular, or combined symptomatic expressions of repressed sexuality, and/or the effects of a life lived in the shadows of fear, violence, bullying, and public condemnation. LGBTQI+ affirmative therapy seeks to counter the shame and self-loathing outcomes of homophobic, biphobic, or transphobic experiences, overtly and covertly manifest within our families of origin, schools, communities, religions, and society.

Waterford Counselling Centre can support you during this complex and difficult process. Working together, we can examine how the patterns you have unintentionally and unknowingly created, may actually be perpetuating a vicious cycle of low self-esteem. Rather than serving their intended damage limitation purpose, your rigid, self-judgemental thought processes, and defensive behaviours, can exacerbate feelings of guilt, shame, inadequacy, hopelessness, anger, and powerlessness.

Acknowledging the existence and legitimacy of these psychologically crippling emotions, therapy can be a vehicle to access and release you from their potentially damaging and indefinite stranglehold. Typical areas that we can work on are coming out, disclosing to others, fear of rejection, homophobic and transgender bullying, building resilience, accessing LGBTQI+-specific supports and resources, transitioning, and psychological distress.

Seeking support is a strength and not a weakness!

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